For reasons you really don't want me to get into, I've recently put myself on a somewhat strict diet of reduced sugar and other crappy foods. Considering how important sugar was to my diet prior to this (and by important, I mean mandatory in a non-negotiable sort of way, especially after dinner), it's pretty remarkable that I'm rolling along, barely even thinking about the junk that used to be such an important part of my life. When sheer willpower won't cut it, go out and get yourself some good ol' IBS. It may not seem worth the trade-off at first, but it's a great way to stop beating yourself up about how the caramel eggs (or all dressed chips, or Greg's roasted marshmallow ice cream, or all of the above) always seem to win. Unfortunately, in my case, it's true what they say about eating a little bit of junk food. It's not actually possible. One cookie at night leads to two the next night, which then leads to two cookies and a twizzler on night #3. Eventually, it's unfathomable that I should just not eat something deliciously useless before bed. Enter digestive disorder. Lash out with expletives at my shitty luck (pardon the pun), and ultimately... be thankful? I didn't see that one coming, but there it is. Sometimes you need a kick in the ass (really, I'm sorry) to get in line. Now the real question is, how long will I be able to stick with my new eating habits once my life gets back to normal?