I rarely introspect anymore. I have two kids. I'm a busy woman. I don't have a huge amount of spare time for life's frivolities. To me, life's frivolities include but are not limited to: baths (I still shower; I'm not disgusting), watching an entire episode of something, reading more than 8 pages of a novel per day, playing an old ditty on the piano, picking up my kids' shoes instead of vaulting over them. This is clearly not an exhaustive list - just a sampling off the top of my head. Interesting, then, that what I am choosing to do right now - at 12:30 am after a long and tiring day - is to spill my thoughts out onto virtual paper for virtual readers. If you have gotten this far in this entry, I'm flattered. That is to say that my readership expectations for this blogging thing aren't particularly high... And yet I do it anyway.
So why write?
For me, it hearkens back to being 8 years old and not being heard at the dinner table. This isn't a sob story, by the way. I'm definitely not complaining in any way about my incredible childhood but for reasons that were (and still are) beyond my comprehension, my thoughts and opinions weren't received with as much enthusiasm as I demonstrated when sharing them. Maybe I lost my family's confidence when I decided to watch "Girls Just Want To Have Fun" for the 65th time. I don't know, maybe you can't blame them. I do think I was grossly misunderstood as a child, though. All I know is that I had plenty to say and not enough people to say it to. So what did I do? I skulked up to my room after dinner every day and wrote in my journal. I still have my first diary somewhere. It's painfully weird to read it because part of me still feels like that goofy little girl, struggling to create a valid and meaningful connection with other human beings.
So maybe that sums it up. I blog because -for me- it's the surest path to another person's heart and mind...which is connected in its own way to thousands of others. An incredible opportunity to reach out and make a tiny impact through poignant words on this vast and noisy network of minds.
Excellent. Now I can sleep!
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